Latest scientific discovery: designers are mutating!

07 April, 2011 § 4

Anthropologists have lately revealed news about the emergence of a highly evolved branch of homo sapiens. They call it homo ophtalmus mainesthai.

This specie can be traced back to the late 19th century when the so-called graphic arts began manifesting themselves in large advertising posters by the likes of Henri Toulouse-Lautrec and Alphonse Mucha (proclaimed possible ancestors of the specie). However, some scientists presume it is more accurate to date it back the invention of movable type printing in approximately 1439 A.D. by Johannes Gutenberg.

Whichever the case, it is without doubt that the homo ophtalmus mainesthai witnessed the culmination of their evolution during the 21st century crossover, when development in computer technology was peaking (and has been peaking ever since).

In fact, the said specie has undergone a series of mutational physical changes that define it as such. Extensive studies and experiments have shown the following characteristics:

  • An unusual protrusion of the right side of the brain.
It is no mystery that the right side of the brain regulates artistic activities. Right-brained people are better able to work with the imagination to develop creative solutions to problems. They have a way of creating art out of thin air. “They can see all the colors of the rainbow, can distinguish the scents of blossoms in the air, and dream in color.” Now multiply that by infinity and you’ll be able to fathom the capacities that lie within the homo ophtalmus mainesthai. So much is their right brain side advanced that they make the most incoherent associations, bordering with irrationality. Some members have even been diagnosed with psychosis (symptoms include hallucinations and thought disorder). Others lose any verbal faculties and are left to venture into a world of visual abstraction.

Scientists speculate that this is their own vendetta against a society that has always favored the left side of the brain, making the core learning subjects at school Maths, Science and English.
  • A distinctive distortion of the eyebrows and pupils
The homo ophtalmus mainesthai have developed larger areas of binocular visions that allow them improved depth perception. They show a tremendous eye for detail bordering with ophtalmodystopiaphobia. They are horrified at the sight of a displaced millimeter (which they can detect with an evolved built-in measuring system) and manifest anxiety symptoms like sweaty palms and a higher heartbeat rate. Their x-ray-like vision is convinced that empty space holds much more than the normal human eye can see.

Their eyebrows are unusually stuck together from too much time spent scrupulously focusing on the smallest of details. However, it is yet to be confirmed that the eyebrow mutation isn’t just an attitude problem.
  • A distortion of the vertebral column
Viewed laterally the vertebral column of humans presents several curves, which correspond to the different regions of the column, and are called cervical, thoracic, lumbar, and pelvic. 
The vertebral column of the homo ophtalmus mainesthai holds one or more singular points that break the smoothness of the curve. 
Members of the specie like to joke that their column has converted anchor points or in their lexicon is Shift-Cied.

They have also mastered the art of making body sounds with their own joints and vent their DIY symphonies in their own animated works. 

  • A 360 degree wrist rotation capacity 
Enabling flowing 3D movement of the mouse, the digital pen, or the normal pen, this 360 rotation is also endowed with microscopically high precision. It is possible to move the mouse as little as 1 micro millimeter to the side to allow perfection in pixel alignment.
  • A desensitized nervous system
Or a highly sensitive one. Due to increased and constant stimulation of the nerves, homo ophtalmus mainesthai is characterized with a chronic condition of acute stress disorder. This is their way of dealing with the constant race with time to constantly meet deadlines. In fact, their nerves have been so overused that they have acquired the ability to easily trigger a state of daze where they quickly withdraw from the surrounding environment, to the extent of a dissociative stupor. Some of them, however, show symptoms of extreme agitation and over-activity, which results in the surrounding environment withdrawing from them.

Scientists are still keeping the specie under scrutinized examination since they have observed that its evolution is growing exponentially. There is no knowing how and what this specie will turn into.

There is word that rehabilitation centers are being created to help slow down the evolution of said homo ophtalmus mainesthai. You can help by treating them as fellow homo sapiens, in need of the stupidest forms of social interactions, of a repeated reunion with mother nature and of love.

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